Okay. Does everyone remember last summer when Afrika and Jappy were having a birthday, and we all wanted to have a derelicte themed party in homage to Derek Zoolander? Remember when certain #team members and #team-adjacent “friends” poo-pooed said theme and told us it would be stupid? Well, suck on this, nerds:
This was preceisely my costume idea for our party. Also, the man in this picture is my future husband. Just an FYI.
Yes, you are seeing that right. That is a dress that looks shockingly like it is made from cellophane and black trash bags. I COULD HAVE WORN THAT DRESS! I COULD HAVE MADE THAT DRESS! DERELICTE IS THE BEST PARTY/CLOTHING THEME EVER!
The moral of this story is: never trust non #team members when coming up with party ideas. They suck, and we are awesome.
(NB: Kristen Stewart is likewise awesome. I am officially inducting her into the #team. Welcome Kristen, you are among friends.)
So does everyone remember that time this summer that all those celebrities were in DC and I was the only one that saw one? I do. In case you didn’t almost come running out of your office to confirm my sighting of JAKE GYLLENHAAL on M street at Dean and Deluca (there is obviously a reason we love this place so much), let me remind you: I saw Jake Gyllenhaal at the Dean and Deluca on M and Wisconsin Potomac.
That’s not really the cool part. The cool part is that not only did Jake and I make eye contact (helllooo), but he was dressed just like me. For the record, this says more about me looking like a little boy 75% of the time than about Jake being a woman, which I don’t think he is (though @workchucks can correct me- is he a secret ghey?). He was wearing a gray v-neck American Apparel shirt (how original), chucks (though not of the work variety, these were grungy like MINE!), a straw fedora (see any of the many pictures on the “facebook” in which a member of the #team is wearing my straw fedora, either in SSR or the DR), and Ray Ban Clubmasters! I have fake Clubmasters!
You know those times that people say celebrities should be their friends? Well, even if Jason Segel should be my friend, Jake should be my shopping buddy. Jason and I couldn’t shop at the same stores- I don’t fit in oaf clothes.
What made me think of this? Well, it was kind of roundabout. I was stealing music off blogs because I’m a poor grad student and I can’t afford the new Brandi Carlile album OR the Glee Soundtrack. I want them both, so take note potential Chanukah-gifters. I stumbled upon this, which almost made jappy cry into her coffee (note: she should be crying. she’s not coming to london, where the weather is fine and the girls are finer). Anyway, couldn’t find the Glee soundtrack, and couldn’t find the new Brandi Carlile single which is awesome by the way. BUT (BUT) I found this, and it’s better. See below.
Two things I love: Brandi Carlile and Donnie Darko, which is a really stupid movie to love I know I KNOW, but I like it, ok? So lay off. If you haven’t seen it, you should, but if you don’t like it don’t come crying to me. Maggie Gyllenhaal is in it though, so you should like it.
The entire movie is worth it for this one part.
Please consider this rambling an endorsement of the Gyllenhaal family (mostly Maggie), Ray Bans and Brandi Carlile. I didn’t mean to get all caught up writing about Jake Gyllenhaal and Sparkle Motion, but I did so suck it.
Dearrrrr blog in heaven, it’s been so long since last I blogged (lie down forever, lie down…). BUT I do have something excellent to share via fotoz.
Micropigs! and a kitteh
Yes, the latest rich people trend is to own micropigs. Omfg they are cute, so I can’t blame Rupert Grint for having one.
Look at this guy. (Ron. Ron. Ron WEASLEY!)
Apparently these cute little piggies live for 18 years, and grow to a maximum height of 14 inches tall. Also they cost $1,400 so wait until (C)Hanukka(h) to ask for one. The residents of #SSR want to invest in one (perhaps instead of our communal child, but maybe we can have both and Baby Jane will have a baby piggie to play with. In her crewcuts and sword outfit, of course.) But look how cute!
Piggie <3
So, I have had a rather emotional week. Most of it has been very, very bad. In fact, all but one thing has been very very bad. Although I had thought that said good thing would salvage the week, BOY did I count my genetically modified chickens before they were injected with insane amounts of antibiotics and hatched…
The good news, that led to my emotional high of the week, came last night. I am not going to share it with you, because I want to revel on the inside for a while longer, but here is a hint:
(can we just stop for a minute and talk about the NOISES he makes in this clip?!? Good mother fucking GOD, the noises…)
Anyway, I was on quite a high from my super fucking awesome news, and thought that my hellish week had turned around. Unfortunately, this was not so.
This morning, I broke my tail bone. Not only did I break my tail bone, I fell down the stairs in front of a crowded ICC galleria, AND a certain super hot African Studies professor, and broke my tail bone. I have officially participated in the Georgetown tradition of getting GERMED, but unfortunately it had nothing to do with a keg stand, jack ball or any other fun-inducing activities involving danger juice. Nope. I had to get wheeled into the emergency room after breaking my ass.
As you may imagine, I was none too pleased with this turn of events. NONE TOO PLEASED. I like my ass. It provides me with a very comfortable way to enjoy life (ie sitting down) and now it has been taken away. I am in desperate need of a walker.
HOWEVER, it has been pointed out to me by my lovely roommate, Carter “I am not going to say anything about your various idiosyncrasies because you will think I am making fun of you when I am really giving you compliment, Carter” Lavin that in fact, my whole outlook on the situation is rather ass backwards, as it were. HA! PUNS!
You see, I fell down the ICC stairs. Yes, THOSE ICC stairs that are basically like climbing half-dome and give many a student vertigo just from glancing down into their depths. I fell down THOSE stairs, and I did not die. Not only did I not die, I made it out without a concussion, cast, serious bleeding, or loss of limbs. AND THAT, my friends, is QUITE THE FUCKING ACCOMPLISHMENT, if you ask me. So yes, maybe I did manage to break my ass, but since I did not crack my skull open like my very own genetically modified and antibiotic filled egg, this DFH is counting today as a victory.
Stairs of the world, beware. I am my own personal wonder woman, and I am coming to take you down.
1. Lattes. Since I’m going on about 3 hours of sleep, lattes have been essential today in keeping me from falling asleep while reading about Norway as a middle power.
omnomnom
2. Gilmore Girls. I absolutely adore watching this show and get a kick out of Rory’s prudish-ness and Emily (<3) and Richard’s bickering. Does anyone else but me sometimes feel depressed after watching an episode because there’s no hope that you will ever be as good as Rory or as cool as Lorelai or as badass as Paris? Is that just me?Also, the pancakes from Luke’s look delicious, and I expect WorkChucks to make me comparable pancakes upon her return from the land du nord. Speaking of the land du nord, if someone from Maine is reading this blog (god help us if our readership has reached that far) GO VOTE. kthx.
Why is this not my life? oh right, because STARS HOLLOW DOESNT ACTUALLY EXIST.
3. Microcredit. Yes, I’m a huge nerd. I own it, and will admit that my obsession of the day (I’ve moved on from this, my obsession of yesterday) is microcredit in south africa. I think that it could be a good fall-back career if the whole book deal/merchandising thing doesn’t work out for us. But really, if you’re reading this blog, give us a book deal. We’re cute, funny, and will make you a ton of money. We promise.
What you'll look like if you give us a book deal. (h/t Tall for the picture, because she is a whore for recognition).
(h/t @ahfdemocrat)
We at DBIH can only assume that our spike in traffic (and crazy commenters- see below) mean one thing: book deal. And don’t worry potential publishers, we are ready. Boy are we ready. In fact, we are so ready (!!!!) that we’ve already gotten some ideas together for merchandising DBIH. You don’t have to thank us, your money will be enough.
Firstly, the book. Clearly. It would help if it was scratch and sniff, but if it isn’t, I guess we can deal. In the book, we could include some of our favorite recipes as well as a map of our favorite locations in DC and around the world (including, but not limited to: Baked and Wired, any S$$ which serves PSLs, anywhere where Tall can buy more Burberry and Marc Jacobs, and the Circulator route that goes down K street). Obviously, this book would be a best-seller. It would clearly outsell Amy Tan and Dan Brown (fucking assholes) combined. At least when we make things up (I’m talking to you crazy-ass commenters), it’s funny.
The book would be like this, but better.
Secondofly, some kind of visual media- preferably a major motion picture, but an HBO miniseries would do (those win a shit-ton of Emmys). Playing me would be Ginnifer Goodwin. I just adore her hair. Playing Work Chucks would obviously be Drew Barrymore, in her current crazy-ass jeans+hightops incarnation. Her look is phenomenal. Dirty Hippie would be Julia Stiles circa 10 Things and @ahfdemocrat thinks he’d be Seth Cohen. I’m not sure he’s funny enough. We’re still unclear if Tall will be played by Gisele Bunchen or a gazelle- I think it could probably go either way. Once Jappy starts turning into more of a “butch” type, she can be played by Jane Lynch, a true SSR favorite. I still can’t think of who would play Chef Hooles, but it would totally be someone awesome. Chef Hooles will be played by Amy Adams, who is totally adorable and who learned how to cook for Julie and Julia!
The extreme popularity of the movie/miniseries would prompt NBC/Universal (aka Jack Donaghy) into further merchandising deals with us. DBIH would be everywhere, including a themed restaurant, preferably somewhere totally awesome in DC/London. Chef Hooles could come up with the menu, which would be closely mirrored upon DBIH favorite restaurant Figs, but we would obviously add ice cream cake and mojitos.
Just get it done (nope...I lost it. That was Batman)
The restaurant will be huge, because Chef Hooles is a great cook and we at DBIH love to eat. Yes we do.
I can just tell that people will really want to join the DBIH lifestyle. Who wouldn’t? It’s fucking amazing. We’d be willing (for a small fee, you know, a pound of flesh or so) to license a theme park ride, under a few conditions, namely that it be at Epcot. I fucking love Epcot. The ride would take average Americans (like you!) through the magical world of DBIH: SSR, Sarajevo, and Big Blue. There would be vodka watermelon for everyone and instead of uncomfy roller coaster seats like on It’s a Small World, everyone could sit in papasan chairs.
Finally, @ahfdemocrat recommended DBIH porno. This is kind of creepy. I’ll just let the suggestion come directly from him.
DBIH the porn magazineit would be babies, lesbian celebrities, me, and bradley whitford
Like, oh, say when a certain book about vampires and werewolves that you have read about 80 times and own three copies of the film version and already have tickets to the midnight showing of the second film in the series GETS TURNED INTO A CLASS AT YOUR ACCREDITED UNIVERSITY!
ENGL-317 Young Adult Literature
Young Adult Fiction (undergraduate)
Leona Fisher
Spring 2010
Arguably one of the liveliest genres to appear in the last thirty years, young adult (YA) or adolescent fiction is innovative, far-ranging, and controversial. Both texts written for adolescents (such as the later Harry Potters and Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight), who are usually defined as 12-15 years of age, and those appropriated by them (such as The Lovely Bones and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime) will be examined, as will films that have been made from those texts (such as Laurie Halse Anderson’s novel Speak and the film of the same name). Students will attend required film viewings; do in-class, spontaneous writing; write several short essays; take a mid-term examination; and write an original research paper or creative short story with commentary as a final project.
Suck it, nerds. That just made my entire YEAR.
(also, Speak is a movie Kristen Stewart did when she was 14. It is incredible. I have also seen it multiple times.)
