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Silvio Berlusconi is a G…

July 8, 2009

And our personal favorite world leader:

So what if I spend the whole day shopping and tanning? SO WHAT?!

So what if I spend the whole day shopping and tanning? SO WHAT?!

Suffice it to say that Jappy and I love Silvio Berlusconi.

For those of you who have not been initiated into the ways of the G8 nations, our dear friend Silvio (can we call you Silvio?) is the current Prime Minster of Italy, a country in which nobody works yet somehow everyone can afford new Vespas and Armani. He is approximately 193 years old, give or take a decade.  This is also not Berlusconi’s first gig as the Italian Presidente del Consiglio dei ministri, it’s actually his fourth, if you count his first term which only lasted like 7 months (which is 15 minutes in “Italian time”).

So you might ask yourself, why do these two intelligent and “feminist” young ladies love Silvio so? First of all, he’s one of Italy’s richest people: he owns a pretty fucking sweet soccer team, half of Italy’s major television networks, and a few newspapers. And secondofly, he’s a total baller. Just see the photo above.

After the jump are some examples of Silvio’s total badassitude, plus a few meagre rebuttals from our own Christopher Dooley Dodge, who is, quite frankly, a total dick for insulting Silvio.

1. He once called Obama “tanned.” He would know, he obviously is pretty “tan” himself thanks to the 6 months of paid vacation he probably takes each year to lay on the beach.

Andiamo alla spiaggia? Si? Si.

Andiamo alla spiaggia? Si? Si.

2. Italy is on the verge of being kicked out of the G8, in favor of Spain, another famously lazy country that has contributed a whole lot of nothing to the world since, hmm, I don’t know, financing Christopher Columbus’s “discovery” of the New World that led to a genocide? Yeah..

Let’s just say it takes quite a bit to be called out for being useless when you’re in the G8, which is one of the more useless global institutions (though not nearly as unwieldy as the G20, but let’s not get started on that)

Also, in response to criticism from The Guardian, Berlusconi’s only response was: you can’t believe a shitty newspaper like that. What a baller.

3. Despite numerous investigations and exposes and ethics complaints, nobody in Italy fucking cares about the fact that the man who runs the country also controls the media. They might care more if AC Milan started sucking, but otherwise, as long as the espresso is still flowing, it’s pretty much hands-off from the Italians.

4. His current girlfriend just turned 18. I can’t blame him for banging her, she has a pretty hot rack. He also appointed a former beauty queen to his Cabinet, and it turns out that she dresses really really well.  So, to complaints about his “sexism” or “machismo,” I simply say: what a baller.

Chris wants everyone to know a few things about Berlusconi’s Italy, as if it really matters (also who trusts someone whose mother is named after a sausage?). Here they are, and feel free to not pay attention [from a gchat conversation on July 7,2009].

1. Chris: they like were set to host the G8 and THEN DID NOTHING!  [wow Chris, how erudite of you]


Chris: haha
1. he statutorily raped a girl
2. he constantly demeans female world leaders
3. he presides over the worst country in the developed world when it comes to women’s rights
Chris: italy has the fewest graduate students who are female
Leslie: so what
Chris: the lowest number of females in top corporate positions
Leslie: well they have adult sons to take care of
Chris: their supreme court ruled that women can’t be raped if they’re wearing jeans
[once again, Chris you will not win any points pretending to be a feminist to get into the ladies’ pants.]
2 Comments leave one →
  1. Chris permalink
    July 9, 2009 1:37 pm

    Gordon, I will have my vengeance.


  1. An update on our amigo Silvio « Dear Blog in Heaven!

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