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oh hey, cheese? cheese.

July 13, 2009

Okay, so I am currently on vacation with my parents, and whilst the beach, 75 degree weather and copious  amounts of shellfish are indeed to my liking, I’ve decided to take a break from paradise (not an objective standard by any means) to blog about another section of grocery stores that warrants comparison; yes, it is in fact time for another episode of GEORGETOWN THROWNDOWN: Trader Joe’s vs Whole Foods.  Today’s theme?

Cheese, one of the four main food groups at SSR (the others being beer, ice cream cake, and sushi).

Both Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s have respectable cheese selections; both carry multiple kinds of brie, Parmigiano Reggiano and goat cheese (unequivocally the most consumed cheeses at SSR).  However, as usual, they differ in a few key regards: price, selection, quality, and general appeal.  (N.B. I have just received word that DirtyHippie is going vegan.  I’m feeling peer pressure to do so as well.  Will report back after week of clam chowder and homemade ice cream is over.)

But first, some background.  Cheese has had a long, rich history at SSR – from eating brie with a baguette while watching Cash Cab and yelling out answers to Jeopardy to enjoying the subtleties of shredded Monterey Jack on microwaved nachos at 2 AM, we here at SSR only enjoy it in the classiest of manners.  Thus, our fridge is often stocked with such fine varieties as Laughing Cow – Light Swiss flavor, Part Skim string cheese (Safeway brand), and prepackaged “deli” slices of Colby Jack (aged appr. 3 weeks).  Naturally, when we grocery shop, this is a prime consideration: do we buy the brie, even though we know that we’ll eat the entire thing in 15 minutes, inducing low self esteem and tight pants, or do we steer clear of the dairy section entirely, though we know that this move is sure to induce depression, lethargy, and anger at SSR?

Well, clearly the answer is to buy the cheese, eat it, and purge if necessary (in some circles this is called “bulimia,” however here at SSR, we call this “Jappy’s exercise plan”).

On to the contest.

Price: if I even have to answer this question, you are not a true reader of DBIH.  Please leave.

Selection: WF has a greater variety, and what’s more, they have many cheeses free of animal rennet – this may not mean much to non-vegetarians, but for me, it means I can work on my goal of actually being a vegetarian, made harder by the use of gelatin in marshmallows, animal rennet in cheeses (particularly brie), and the simple fact that lobster and crab are so fucking delicious.

Quality: well… TJ’s cheese is great value.  Awesome quality for the money, and their goat cheese is easily my favorite. They sell legit Reggiano, but… WF has a slight edge on everything.

General appeal: WF gives out free samples.  Case closed.

Winner: Whole Foods, because by the time you sample each cheese they have in those ingenious plastic domes, you don’t even care about actually buying the cheese – showing us that the WF can satiate our anorexic and cash strapped tendencies.  Om nom nom.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. dirtyhippie permalink
    July 13, 2009 6:17 pm

    Cheese is my favorite food on the planet. Hands down. I love it more than life. My mouth is watering thinking about baked brie or goat cheese with chives on toasted baguettes….mmmmmmmmm…sorry, I went away for a minute…

    Anyhoo, I have finally come to the realization that the fact that I have fantasies about cheese is basically tantamount to me being addicted to crack. Its time to go clean. So yes, I am going vegan.

    Can we all have a moment of silence for my loss of cheese?

    thank you.

    God I want some brie…and Whole Foods is BY FAR superior to TJs when it comes to this divine food.

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