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It’s just a dream I had…

July 19, 2009

So I had a totally trippy-ass dream the other night, which is really not a totally abnormal thing, but NBD, and in my dream NOBODY HAD EYEBROWS. Trippy, right? I hate it when I have these dreams, because then when I try to explain them to people, they just look at me like I’m crazy, as if who the fuck would really keep thinking about the dreams they had that have no meaning?

Me being me, I thought it might be useful to investigate this further, because not having eyebrows is a big issue!!! Did you know that Mother Evolution gave us eyebrows to keep the sweat out of our eyes? So awesome, right? So muchas gracias to Mother Evolution for the ofttimes unruly hair growing above our eyes. IT IS THERE FOR A REASON, LADIES! [Read: drawn-on eyebrows might look awesome (not) but they do not serve a purpose]

My investigation led me to the Googles, and with a quick search I discovered that eyebrows in dreams are (allegedly) significant. Via the dream moods dictionary:


To notice eyebrows in your dream, represents expressions of amazement, disbelief, surprise, or doubt.  It may also indicate concern or disapproval.

I wasn’t 100% sure I bought this, but, having nothing to do, I decided that solving my dream crisis was a lot more important than any crises of the international variety that might pop up at work.

A quick perusal of the Style section of the New York Times, which is really the only section worthy of my long-termattention, led me to a meaning far deeper than simply an expression of “concern or disapproval.”  Check it.

It turns out that the new hip thing among the it’s-so-ugly-its-superfly crowd in New York is bleaching or shaving eyebrows. These obviously-awesome people are actually using Whoopi Goldberg (yes, that Whoopi), the Mona Lisa, and Thai Buddhist monks as their models, because, you know, these three things have so much in common.

Whoopi is literally raising her eyebrows that do not exist. Baller.

Whoopi is literally raising her eyebrows that do not exist. Baller.

Anyway, the badass, well-informed, Pulitzer-prize winning journalists of the New York Times want you to think this is just another symptom of this “recession” they like to talk so much about. Not only are people no longer buying newspapers (possibly because they waste paper and ink publishing this kind of bullshit), but these same poor people don’t have the money to maintain their eyebrows anymore.

So, maybe my dream was really just a metaphor for my “concerns” about the “recession?” This is obviously something I’m going to pursue further, just FYI.

One Comment leave one →
  1. mmegan permalink
    July 20, 2009 7:47 pm

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