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No, I really don’t think.

July 21, 2009

Mr. Play-it-safe was afraid to fly/he packed his suitcase/and kissed his kids goodbye/he lived his whole damn life/to take that flight/and as the plane crashed down/he thought, well isn’t this nice/and isn’t it ironic/ dontcha think…

You might laugh a little behind your hands, but Alanis Morrissette was my first music love. I owned Jagged Little Pill, which, incidentally, is one of the best selling albums of all time, on CASSETTE and used to make my parents listen to it in the car. My dad called her Alanis Whiner (so creative David, no wonder you dropped out of college), but I didn’t care. She was awesome.

I listened to Alanis again today, on the Circulator, a combination of two of my favorite things on my evening commute. It was like a pleasure vortex. I realized that alanis will always be my music love: I know all the words to all the songs, and I still think she’s boss.

This chick wrote the angriest music ever about JOEY GLADSTONE. Yes, UNCLE JOEY.

This chick wrote the angriest music ever about JOEY GLADSTONE. Yes, UNCLE JOEY.

So, yes, the stories in Ironic are really not ironic, they’re merely coincidental, or just plain old shitty situations. But, it’s still a fucking amazing song, and I don’t give a shit that it totally screwed me over in Mr. Connolly’s English class in 11th grade because I had no clue what irony meant. I don’t care. It is like meeting the man of your dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife.

Today, Alanis is still a total baller. She played God in Dogma (joining the ranks of Morgan Freeman, George Bluth, and that dude who was Jesus in The Passion), and a few weeks ago she played a kickass OB-GYN in Weeds. Also, only Alanis Morrissette would provoke a guy to have Scarlett Johansson as sloppy seconds.

She is so cool, I don’t even care that she’s a Canuck.

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