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You might be a redneck if…

July 21, 2009

These are all things that I witnessed while I was home in the big MO a couple of weeks ago.

  • You pay a stripper with a 50 pound bag of dog food you stole off of the truck you drive.
  • Instead of showering while at the lake, you scrub yourself down with Boat Wash and then jump back into said lake.
  • You drive a jeep that is made out of two separate jeeps and is therefore half red and half white.
  • While driving the two-tone jeep, you are drinking a combination of vodka, orange juice, and lemonade.

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