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Ketchup is a food, not a hair color…

July 24, 2009

Especially for people with a history of gross misuse of Twitter and the English language.

I love this stuff, on eggs, fries, sammiches, etc.

I love this stuff, on eggs, fries, sammiches, etc.

Ketchup is great. I love it. It’s even made in Pittsburgh, the best city in America. However, just because ketchup tastes great, doesn’t mean that we need to emulate (see below) ketchup.

emulate: -verb used with object

1. to try to equal or excel; imitate with effort to equal or surpass: to emulate one’s father as a concert violinist.

2. to rival with some degree of success: Some smaller cities now emulate the major capitals in their cultural offerings.

I know, we all went through those phases, where dyeing our hair unnatural colors seemed awesome, and so Kelly Osborne (really, what a badass). However, my days of orange (like the fruit) hair were in middle school, a period in which nobody looked good, so who the hell cared what color my hair was (other than my Mom). Now, it’s just plain sad. If you don’t like the color of your hair, there are tons and tons and tons of selections at the local CVS or Rite-Aid that don’t make you look like you took a pitcher of Kool-Aid or a highlighter to your head. Just saying.

Also, for the record, the esteemed Senator from West Virginia spells his last name Byrd, not like the animal.

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