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We have returned…

September 7, 2009

We told you we would, oh ye of little faith. Yes, I’m talking to you Veg Populi– maybe you should stop riding the high of your Mark Bittman salad adventure (The quest for the Lost Ark if you will), and go try to find the freaking Holy Grail. Seriously, it’s time for a new adventure from you. And PS, Elsa was a greedy greedy Nazi. We can all agree on that.

Even her fucking action figure is holding the WRONG GRAIL. Case.Closed.

Even her fucking action figure is holding the WRONG GRAIL. Case.Closed.

[Note: for those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, watch the last 45 minutes of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, starting roughly at “Jehovah is spelled with an I in Latin” and continuing through Elsa falling into the Great Chasm of Doom, until we learn that “We named the dog Indiana.” Then, ask yourself: Did Elsa pick the wrong grail for Walter Donovan because she wanted to fuck with him or because she’s a greedy greedy greedy Nazi (aren’t they all?) who thought that Jesus would actually like a gold cup to drink out of (as if!)? Answer: she picked the wrong cup because she is a Nazi. She is barely smart enough to ransack her own room, she can’t think on her feet fast enough to sabotage the entire Nazi party by picking the wrong cup. Plus, those crazy eyes say it all. If you don’t agree with me, take your fucking grievances and stupid theories elsewhere. I don’t want to hear them.]

Anyway, moral of the story. DBIH has returned. Do we have a good excuse for taking a month off? We really don’t, we were going to blog (and listen to Jonah Hill/Jeboa’s demo tape), but then we just kept on living our lives. But, duty called, and like Charles De Gaulle and the Free French movement, we answered it. In this metaphor, Paris is DBIH and we are Charles de Gaulle. We will be greeted as liberators. We have returned, and we will kick out the Vichy government (I don’t really have something that Marshall Petain can be in this metaphor, just go with it). Whatever. Bad metaphor. BUT WE’RE BACK. SUCK IT NERDS.

Oh, hai.

Oh, hai.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. jeboa permalink
    September 8, 2009 1:33 pm

    I disagree with your characterization of the end of Last Crusade. She willingly deceives Walter “General Veers from Empire Strikes Back” Donovan because she intends to keep the real grail for herself and Indiana.

    This is in line with her later dialogue. “It’s ours, Indy. Yours and mine!”

    But, Indiana Jones errors aside, welcome back.

    Crack whores.

  2. TALL permalink
    September 9, 2009 11:53 am

    dear jeboa,
    1. no one cares
    2. why are you wasting time when i do not have your demo tape in my hand?
    3. will you be holding a benefit concert for your current campaign? i would like tickets.
    4. DEMO TAPE.
    love,
    tall

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