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Sputum

September 8, 2009

So.  Things to know about swine flu:

look at this guy

look at this guy

1. There is a vaccine, for which we can thank the Swedish  …except, no one can get it. Thank you, FDA.

2. Every person at a college has been, is currently, or will in the future become an incubator of h1n1.

3. In that respect, it is a lot like chicken pox, mono or meningitis.

4. However, one of the main symptoms is pretty gross the straight up most unfortunate contagion you can imagine: that nasty, hacking, deep chested cough that erupts at dismal times, including while at an 8:50 lecture, sitting in your work cube, or, mostly terribly, while you’re deep in an Ambien-induced fever dream.

5. Do I have swine flu? Not until I start hacking up sputum, or I get a fever.

6.

sputum

sputum

7. You’re welcome.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. TALL permalink
    September 9, 2009 11:48 am

    that painting made me hungry for a salmon roll. omnomnom.

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