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“CRAZY NEW BESTIES!”

September 9, 2009

I’ve been told, on occasion, that I’m too quick to assume people are gay. I keep my ear to the ground and hear things through the gay-grapevine, and yea, maybe they aren’t always completely true, but I like repeating them anyway. Here goes.

Aa couple of months ago, I mentioned to a couple people that I thought that Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore might be dating. I’d seen a  picture of them at a Cat Power concert, this picture, in fact:

Cat Power? Seriously?

Cat Power? Seriously?

and put the pieces together. Gray hoodie inside a jacket on Ellen? Stringy, unbrushed hair on both of them? A Cat Power concert? No question. But my guess drew some disagreements, and I was accused, once again, of being too quick to categorize.

But then. But then! This month’s Marie Claire came out with a cover story feature Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page with the subtitle “Crazy New Besties!”

And the article was more ridic that I could possibly imagine.

Some questions for the crowd.

1. Do you spoon (albeit standing up and on rolling skates) with your bestie?

This CAN'T be all that safe.

This CAN'T be all that safe.

2. Do you hold  hands with your bestie?

Perhaps they're just helping each other stay standing?

Perhaps they're just helping each other stay standing?

3. Do you, god forbid, HUG your bestie?

Oh, the lesbian urge to merge...

Oh, the lesbian urge to merge...

4. Do you, from time to time, even give your bestie a little smooch?

And yes, I hid the kiss picture at the bottom of the post.

And yes, I hid the kiss picture at the bottom of the post.

I’d imagine some of you (especially in the #ssr crowd) said yes to all four of my questions. So one more.

5. Do you ever say the following things about your bee eff eff?

When asked by the Marie Claire reporter if the chemistry between her and Drew was immediate, Ellen responded:

“I first met Drew at the Chateau Marmont. And it was a surreal moment for me in my life. You could just feel her warmth and kindness immediately, and the way she carried herself was just so grounded… And then it went into, ‘Oh, my god, I’m really crazy about this person.’ It just grew and grew and grew and grew and grew.”

Later in the story, Drew commented on Ellen:

“Ellen has such a beautiful body… She was in her frickin’ bra with an open jacket and hot pink shorts, skating around the rink with red links and… she was sexy as a mother… as a feral creature.”

Finally, when asked to describe her “crazy new bestie” in three words, Ellen choose:

“Luminous. Compassionate. Intelligent.”

Drew’s response pretty much sums it up:

“Dang, baby, shit!”

Dang, baby, shit, indeed.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Afrika permalink
    September 9, 2009 11:41 am

    three words: hez ma nez.

    oh noes they HOLD HANDS?! Tall and I pretty much life our lives with one hand each because we are CONSTANTLY holding them/ I am squeezing the life out of her while whispering sweet nothings in her ear. nbd.

    i remain, as always, skeptical.

    • TALL permalink
      September 9, 2009 11:46 am

      i can vouch for Afrika. however i hate it when she whispers. she knows that, but it’s kindof a joke now. also jappy is the most tactile person ever. she is like a baby chick that needs constant warmth, hence the incugaytor. however, even my rusty gaydar goes off with this crap. drew+ellen=l-word. and i bet they the-other-l-word each other.

  2. dirtyhippie permalink
    September 9, 2009 1:46 pm

    First of all, I submit that Ellen Page is most likely living in the W4W camp. Drew, on the other hand, I believe is more in the middle of the sexuality spectrum…and no, I do not think they are dating.

    I quite often do ALL of those things with my besties. I am quite the touchy-feely sort of pretend lesbian. But I still enjoy the menz.

    And Drew is dating Justin Long again. Srsly people, gossip blogs are there for a reason, read them.

    Hez.

  3. chefhooles permalink
    September 9, 2009 5:20 pm

    does no one else have a problem with the term “bosom buddies”?

    OBJECTIVELY AWKWARD

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