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Crushes: Pee Wee League

October 3, 2009

We all remember our first crush, but that snot-nosed fool let the best thing he or she would ever have go too quickly (I’m looking at you, Ben I-can’t-remember-your-last-name).  However, the first crush that will never disappoint, will never fade, and will remain our get-out-of-jail-free card for all eternity is our first celebrity crush. No, I’m not talking about animated Disney character crushes (it was obvi Prince Eric for everyone, so don’t even go there). The crush I’m talking about – for me – is Leonardo DiCaprio.

Look at this guy. How could you not want to jump his bones?

Look at this guy. How could you not want to jump his bones?

Oh, Jack Dawson, how you enthralled me, and still do to this day. What fucking badass. Titanic is my absolute, end-all-be-all favorite movie of all time. I’m pretty sure I will never love anything more than Titanic or Reese’s peanut butter cups. You can quote me on that (future spouse and off-spring, I apologize in advance).

I cant say enough about this movie. Seriously, do not get me started.

I can't say enough about this movie. Seriously, do not get me started.

Jack Dawson is everything a man should be. Smart, funny, creative, excellent dancer, kind to children, hot, good at stealing shit, able to get you off a sinking boat in the middle of the icy Atlantic, a fantastic poker player, and a friend of limbless French prostitutes. (Side note: it is not that cool if you are an actual hobo and sleep under bridges like Jack claimed he did. That is sketchy and went out of style after the Great Depression.) AND AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH… Leo also played Romeo in what is probably my 5th or 6th favorite movie of all time, Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet.

What a fucking fox. Not you, Claire Danes, not you at all or ever.

What a fucking fox. Not you, Claire Danes, not you at all or ever.

If you haven’t seen it, get off your blog reading ass and download that shit NOW. Seriously y’all, it’s a masterpiece of film.  In fact, I’m going to go watch it right now. I suggest you do the same

(DBIH blogstresses, I highly recommend that you write picture-heavy posts about your first silver screen crush. Let’s make it a series! Let the great experiment BEGIN! -T (Tobias))

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