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October 18, 2009

#SSR, the humble abode of 3 DBIH writers (well… maybe 3.5? workchucks could be considered a half-roommate)  has been taken over by gnats. Not just a few gnats. No, we have a full on infestation on our hands.  We have been completely surrounded by things that look like this…

Look at this guy.

How did this infestation start, you might ask? Well, why don’t you ask Tall about her BAG OF LIQUEFIED POTATOES THAT WE FOUND ON TOP OF THE REFRIGERATOR? I’m assuming she was too preoccupied analyzing her crazy ass dreams to remember that she had a six month old bag of potatoes that was rotting. nbd.

What Tall's potatoes looked like. but covered in gnats.

But it’s okay, because workchucks stepped up to the plate to pay her rent at #ssr by grabbing the fruit fly covered bag of moldy potatoes and throwing it in a trash bag. Snaps for workchucks, I admire your bravery.

Medal of bravery for workchucks.

Now, we are literally waging a genocide in our kitchen, armed with clorox spray, flypaper, and newspapers to beat the shit out of the pesky little assholes. A word of advice to all other would-be intruders (insect or otherwise)– #SSR will spray you in the face with clorox, beat you to a pulp with a newspaper,or stick you to a  piece of paper where you will die a slow and agonizing death (unless @ahfdemocrat is supposed to be guarding us… then feel free to come in and take advantage of us, since we all know he will just pretend to be asleep in order to save himself).

This child (also feigning sleep) would be better able to protect us from would-be intruders than @ahfdemocrat.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Afrika permalink
    October 18, 2009 2:51 pm

    i seem to remember a certain other DBIH-er being a resident at #SSR. how we all have forgotten.

  2. TALL permalink
    October 18, 2009 3:45 pm

    I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN. unlike those potatoes… who knew that if left in a temperate high shelf long enough, potatoes will, in fact, turn black and liquefy? neither work chucks nor i did, and we’re both jewish (sort of) AND pre-med!

  3. chefhooles permalink
    October 18, 2009 4:00 pm

    not just any newspaper – the wall street journal. nothing says death by blunt force trauma quite like the wsj opinion section.

  4. dirtyhippie permalink
    October 18, 2009 4:57 pm

    we are similarly afflicted at the homestead (I am getting close to accepting name of “four dicks and a chick” btw, nbd)–I want to know where you got this flypaper madness. Jappy, I need you to share with me Sherry’s secrets plz.

  5. Bubbles permalink
    October 26, 2009 3:19 pm

    chefhooles, as the resident Irishwoman, I expected better from you.

  6. chefhooles permalink
    October 26, 2009 6:19 pm



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