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The World is Flat, and other retarded book titles that mean nothing.

November 12, 2009

It will probably come as no surprise to the DBIH readership that I generally despise self-important columnists who portray themselves as profound and innovative when they’re just taking things that are totally common knowledge and making them sound cool by using a thesaurus and random cultural references. Obviously, at the top of the list is Maureen Dowd, who is both a screeching harpy and a ginger-by-choice (fun factoid: she has a bright pink jukebox in her living room, which is clearly visible from the street. Maureen: the jukebox does not match your decor. It’s not kitschy, it’s ugly, like your face.)

Also on the list is Thomas Friedman, partially because he has a moustache, partially because he’s one of the worst offenders of “making common knowledge sound exciting by saying really stupid things.” Thomas Freidman- we all know globalization exists. It’s really no longer interesting to talk about how there are McDonalds everywhere (except ICELAND, but they don’t have an economy so no money for Big Macs).

Look at this guy.

Look at this guy.

Yet, as of late, I’ve found myself having what I like to call “Tom Friedman moments,” just to be facetious. Here’s one, presented in the form of a particularly epic g-chat conversation between Jappy and me. (NB: names have been changed. also, I might have edited the conversations for clarity, and to make us sound less stupid.)

Afrika: have arrived at s$$. i love this place

Jappy: I’m in s$$ too

Jappy: hahahahahah
Afrika: sitting in starbucks on different continents
that are exactly the same
we’re probably looking at the same art right now
Jappy: we probably are
Afrika: creepy
i just tweeted at thomas friedman about us

Prediction: This will replace the Elgin Marbles in the British Museum once the UK is forced to send them back to Greece.

This happened last week. Today, the exact same thing happened (with an almost identical gchat coversation). The excitement of being in the same place as Jappy while on a totally different continent has almost (ALMOST) made up for the lack of PSLs in London.
Today, Jappy and I once again find ourselves in S$$. She’s in Georgetown. I’m in London. She’s writing about African Development. I’m writing about African Development. The world is so flat that yesterday I parked my Lexus in front of an olive tree (or an Olive Garden, I was too drunk to remember).
(Update: I had to explain why this was awesome to a particularly non-excited fellow Sewickley Academy graduate. Here’s how I explained it.

me: hahaha
it was insane
we were reading almost the same thing
in the same place
about another place
I think this is exactly what Thomas Friedman was talking about. The fact that it’s totally mundane is further proof of how dumb he is.)

Yes, there is a Starbucks in the Forbidden City. No, this is not a sign of the incoming downfall of Western Civilization. Sometimes, people just need a latte.

One Comment leave one →
  1. November 12, 2009 12:32 pm

    lol. entertaining post.
    You are right

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