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All I Want for Festivus: Tall Edition

December 1, 2009

Yo nerds, it’s that time of year! Since I am half-Jewish (I always forget!) and half-Jesus lover, I celebrate Festivus. If you don’t know what that is, get the fuck out or read this.

A holiday for the rest of us.

So what I want for the holiday season… Most of you would say “Tallsies! Of course you’d love annnnything Burberry!” Wrong losers. I already have it all. I’m on my game 24/7. Rare Marc Jacobs or vintage Chanel? Try again fools, I’m an eBay champione.  So what to get this covetous half-jew? Well since I’m half Gisele, half gazelle I’ll settle for some other kind of designer duds, or anything in the Needless Markup – I mean Neiman Marcus – holiday catalog. If you have to ask, you can’t afford it and you betcha I want it.  Like this! Or this!

Cupcake Car for TALL

As for the gazelle part, according to the wikipedia page, gazelles “eat less coarse, easily digestible plants and leaves.” And what does that mean? Funfetti cupcakes, booze, ice cream cake, peanut butter cups, and aborted fetuses. Duh.

C'est moi

One Comment leave one →
  1. Afrika permalink
    December 2, 2009 9:18 am

    also, you should ask for bread from figs for chanukah. just saying, the holidays are a time to splurge on carbs and yahweh knows we jews love dem carbos.

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