Skip to content

…and we’re back

May 24, 2010

…at least until we get bored again of nobody appreciating our chef d’oeuvre (that’s French, fyi).

So, dear readers, I’m sure you’ve been wondering what we’re all up to. It’s really been a whirlwind few months here at DBIH.

Here’s a rundown of your favorite DBIH personae (that’s the plural of persona, fyi).

Jappy: After much deliberation, Jappy cut her hair. Like 17 times. Then she dyed it. Again, like 17 times. She still has not gone to Kenya.

Tall: I’m trying to formulate some kind of joke here in which Tall is like Gisele (or a gazelle, I always forget) and she doesn’t like creepy old men, so she goes for the hot newcomer. In this case, the creepy old man is Arlen Specter and the hot newcomer is Joe Sestak. Go Joe. Alternatively, I could conceivably think of a joke where Tall is half Jewish (once again, I always forget) but she is a self-loathing half Jew, and hates Arlen Specter. Neither of these jokes is materializing well.

Dirty Hippie: Well, she bought a romper. She dyed her hair “flat black.” Let’s be honest here, flat black looks remarkably like Afrika’s “brown-black.” This is just Dirty Hippie trying to figure out a way to be metaphorically closer to me (!!!) while we’re separated by an entire continent and an ocean.

Chef Hooles: Chef Hooles has ditched the #team for greener and lusher pastures: Africa. Yet, there is clearly something wrong with this picture, because the good Afrika lives in London, not at a soccer stadium in Jo’burg. I call shenanigans. Chef Hooles also became the most recent ditcher of the #team by leaving SSR. Welcome to the club, Hooles.

Work Chucks: Somehow, Work Chucks is more of a G than she was before. Recently, she was mocked on the television by at least 2 anchors on MSNBC. This is clearly a sign that she will soon be having sexy timez with Rachel Maddow. For the record, DBIH is jealous. Cementing her new G status is her new non-Sarajevo address. Let’s call her new hood : Vienna.

Afrika: Afrika is having an identity crisis in London. She spent the last month and a half in the library, where she continued to cause problems and not learn about Africa. Then, she tried to spell “program” as “programme.” What’s next, shoppe? What the fuck America?

So, in short: we’re back. Get excited. Start commenting all the time. We missed you, but you missed us more.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Doing It For A Living permalink
    May 24, 2010 4:10 pm

    I think your jokes materialized pretty well, especially for some Londoner who likes Africa. I have to say that as self-loathing as Tall is, she now works for the Big Jew from New York, and you just don’t get more self-loathing than that.

  2. jappy permalink
    May 24, 2010 6:20 pm

    I love this. Glad to be back. As soon as I”m out of the HELLLLL that is the midwest and have reliable internet access, I’ll blog with a vengeance.

  3. Bored permalink
    May 25, 2010 12:09 pm

    More content plz

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: