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May 25, 2010

Tall and I are proud Pennsylvanians. Tall is quite possibly more proud than me, but she is also more tall than me, so that’s fine I suppose (plus she’s not from Pittsburgh, and Pittsburgh pride supersedes Pennsylvania pride).

I digress. Tall and I have a new reason to be proud of the Keystone State, other than one of Georgetown’s favorite beers (this is not a time to get me started on the time that Tombs took Miller Hi-Life off draught, fuck my life).

What is it? Oh, yes. Oh oh oh yes.

What's not to love?

According to the Wall Street Journal’s Metropolis (Fritz Lang, anyone? Anyone?), Pennsylvanians are ridding New York of its pigeons. You’re welcome, New York. What have you ever done for us? Nothing. What have we done for you? Killed your fucking rats with wings.

BUT, are the New Yorkers happy with this? Of course not. They say trapping pigeons is illegal. I say: Fuck them. This is neither a sport nor is it animal abuse. It is a public service.

On behalf of all Pennsylvanians, including Tall, Jeff Goldblum and Benjamin Franklin, we accept your praise and we mock your girlyman-love of all of God’s creatures. Pigeons are gross.

In conclusion, if the bird doesn’t take advantage of its comparative advantage and fly the fuck away, it deserves to be caught.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. jappy permalink
    May 25, 2010 7:47 pm

    I hate the name Fritz. It reminds me of… oh, well, you know.

  2. Ian permalink
    May 26, 2010 1:18 pm

    Wait, Jeff Goldblum is from PA? Impressive.

    My name for this post is a double-pun

  3. Afrika permalink
    May 26, 2010 9:17 pm

    Not only is Jeff Golblum FROM Pennyslvania, but he made a movie about being from Pittsburgh.

    Also, he was in Independence Day, which is one of the finer pieces of American cinema ever.

    • Ian permalink
      May 27, 2010 9:20 am

      ID4 was easily one of the top 3 movies from the 90s, along with Jurassic Park.

      • Afrika permalink
        May 27, 2010 9:36 am

        I agree wholeheartedly, with the corollary that even though the Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou sucked, Jeff Golblum was pretty funny in that too.

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