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I don’t know the lyrics to any songs…

May 26, 2010

…except for pretty much every song Alanis Morissette ever sang.

What can I say? I had an angsty preteen phase.

So tonight on American Idol, this girl:

"I'm Crystal Bowersox, MFers, and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing on this show."

sang “Ironic.” And she was good. The NYTimes live blog of the show had this to say1: “Crystal is totally out-Alanis-ing Alanis. She’ll have her job on Weeds by the end of the night.”

But then. Then! This girl came out:

"What are YOU doing on this show? I'm like you, but cooler, and I'm here."

Alanis and Crystal sang “You Oughta Know” together, which is one of my fave all-time songs!

But they weirdly changed the best lyric of the entire song from “Would she go down on you in a theatre?” to “Would she go down with you to a theatre?”

My problems with the change:

  1. That doesn’t make any sense.
  2. This song was originally written about Uncle Joey from Full House. It NEEDS the reference to fellatio. In fact, it could deal with eight or nine more references to oral sex.
  3. That doesn’t make any sense.

I get that it’s always family hour on American Idol, but COME ON people!

Also, where the hell is Paula Abdul? I’m still holding out for her to duet with this dude who did an awesome cover of “Straight Up” earlier this season:

1 I may be watching this show for reasons I don’t quite understand besides I like Crystal Bowersox and Paula Abdul and I’m lonely in an empty hotel room in DC, but I do need some mental stimulation. Hence, the NYTimes liveblog. Designed for sad, sad people just like me.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Afrika permalink
    May 26, 2010 9:14 pm

    i fucking love alanis. i do blame her for my continual issues with the true definition of ironic: 10,000 spoons when all ya need is a knife.

    • dirtyhippie permalink
      May 26, 2010 10:57 pm

      OMG ME TOO! Like, srsly, 3/4ths of the things in that song are NOT examples of irony. Way to totally screw up my education, you crazy Canuck.

      It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay: that is just poor hygiene on either your part or the part of the establishment in which you are dining–not ironic.

      It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take: that is just you being stupid–also not ironic.

      That being said, I LOVE me some Alanis.

      Thank you India
      Thank you providence
      Thank you disillusionment
      Thank you nothingness
      Thank you clarity
      Thank you thank you silence

      That is good shit, people.

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