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Shaun White

June 30, 2011

We don’t talk enough about him. I don’t know why we don’t talk more about the Flying Tomato. We talk a lot about Jason Segel, and, let’s be honest, he’s getting a little flabby and How I Met Your Mother is not that funny (related post, to be written later: Friends is funnier than I remember it being.).

We also talk a lot about lesbians, but we’re just pandering for readers. That’s definitely allowed.

So, Shaun White. I think he does extreme sports. I’m not really one for extreme sports- apparently, watching a baseball game is extreme enough to break my entire face, so I don’t really want to know what would happen if I tried to, I don’t know, skate off the Empire State Building with a parachute made of marshmallows or something.

Did you know Shaun White has a clothing line at Target? If you didn’t know, you’re not shopping in the boys’ department enough. Shaun White For Target flannel is where it’s at yo.

Shaun White also has great hair. No joke, I’d love to have hair like that. Sometimes mine looks like his, all smooth and well-defined curlz and stuff, then I get on the Tube and come out looking like fucking Carrot Top. Let’s say it together: Fuck.My.Life. Or at least, fuck my Jewish frizzy hair genes.

Anyway, Shaun (can we call you Shaun?), please be our friend. We’d even let you guest blog about the ski slopes or the yearly snowfall or something? I don’t know, you pick.

Flowing locks of ginger

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